1.26.2010

"Hilbert's Ghost" or "How I Stopped Loving and Learned to Worry about the LHC"

So, I have LHC Mania. I barely understand what the Large Hadron Collider is, but it seems very romantic to me. A Victorian romanticism where science is more of a wild guess than an question asked based on the answers of questions before. In short, my best understanding is that it is largest particle accelerator ever, with which physicists hope to replicate the environmental and material conditions that began the universe in a fraction of a second all those years ago. It will give light to question about the basics of the laws governing the universe, and presumably answer questions that have existed for a long time. I am not even going to go into the theological implications here.

While I am fascinated by the science, I cannot pull myself from combing for new information about the social situation and implications for community surrounding it. For example, this Physics of the Universe Summit that was covered in the NYTimes today.

Intro my brilliant idea...
A comedic musical starring the LHC and the people surrounding it. Think modern Dr. Strangelove meets Bones meets Back to the Future. I imagine a female main character, her partner in research a man whom is hopelessly in love with her, but very timid. (He also never corrects her errant assumption that he is a homosexual, or calls her on her slightly homophobic, non-politically correct cracks about his sexuality. In fact, he is so beflustered and helpless that he even goes on a date with her cousin from Minnesota when he is on town. [only referred to, we never met the cousin] Yes, she is that socially dense.) But our physicist is married to her work, she is afraid to flip the switch (read: afraid to love).

The whole thing is an analogy. Repressed love, fear of beginning something new and unpredictable, of turning the LHC on and what could happen. Our main character has hidden behind science and has a very low view of love and affection (It's just a mix of dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin after all.) It is the story of her coming over to the side of risk. And the guy growing the balls to finally confront her.

The closing scene is the two flipping a switch together. We don't find out what happens. Armegeddon? Maybe. Nothing? Maybe.

Alternatively, the whole thing could take place in flashbacks. 50 years after the switch was flipped. Nothing happened and all the scientists had to find something else to do with their lives. The two meet at a reunion organized by network TV and talk over drinks. They have both changed and could end up together or not. I'm not really partial at this point.



Setting: Geneva, French/Swiss border (and the future maybe)
Minor characters would include:
A quirky junior fellow / intern (what are these called in science stuff?)

David Hilbert (mathematician who authored the 23 Hilbert problems that steered 20th century math) who visits our main scientist as a ghost/vision/who she just talks to when by herself a la Marley and Scrooge. (As a bonus for nerds each of the Hilbert Problems will be subtly referred to through out the musical.)

Some authority figure who drives the timeline. This is the person forcing the switch flipped, tired of the 'lollygagging of you science folk.' They are motivated either by needing a distraction for the public (a bad war perhaps?) or the secret hope that the time/space travel myths about the LHC are true and they will be able to correct a grievous wrong they did in the past.

Also, the theological implications could be a great subplot. Creator vs. created, etc.
(Vanity Fair: "There was also a CERN subplot in Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons, in which Illuminati steal anti-matter from the L.H.C. in order to evaporate the Vatican.")



Okay, there you have it. Now who wants to write it? Who wants to check the science? Who wants to choreography the "Waltz of the Proton Synchrotron"? Don't all get up at once.